::A Proclamation From the Crown::

Decrees, anointments, and declarations from the Crown may be found here. I've been called a Queen, but I'm far from it. I've taken what I have darling. I am an Empress!

::Ears:: Does anyone have a good pair anymore? Those who I hoped to have the biggest haven't used them lately. Looks like I'll have to use my own. They always seem to work. The Crown posted by Steven @ 11/19/2002 02:09:00 AM	Tuesday
::11:: Eleven more days until I’m back in the arms of my love, with feet firm on home turf and heart floating well above could nine. I can’t wait to board my plane, pop my sleeping pills and awake in my Los Angeles. Yup, I said MY Los Angeles. I look over my shoulder and I see the dazzling lights from across the harbour finding their way into my room, I’d much prefer to set my eyes on a fluorescent haze glimmering above my Los Angeles Skyline. I have a lot of time on my hands lately. I’ve been finished with school for a week and the weather is keeping me away from the beach. I’ve found things to fill the time I don’t spend day dreaming of Efrain, though I realize there is almost never a time that I don’t sit and wish I could see him or hold him near. Still I’ve found things to do. I’ve become a video store junky. I go on walks through random places with my friend Roger as he apartment hunted, strolled through the rain, visited the flea market, and made multiple long distance calls; though the calls are usually to Efrain. I don’t know that if I can count those calls as something I do when I’m no thinking of the boy though, hmm. It’s funny the closer I get to seeing him the more anxious I get about being away. I’m turbo antsy and catch myself imagining my first day with him over and over again. That reminds me I need to call the Biltmore. It’s funny, I never thought I’d ever be this much in love with Efrain again; given our bad breakup. Now I can’t imagine ever not being at least this much in love with him ever again. The world’s a funny place. I’m glad I can handle a good laugh. The Crown posted by Steven @ 11/16/2002 07:30:00 AM	Saturday
::Our Song:: "Heaven" Baby you're all that I want When you're lying here in my arms I’m finding it hard to believe we're in heaven And love is all that I need And I found it there in your heart It isn’t too hard to see We're In Heaven Oh thinkin’ about our younger years there was only you and me we were young and wild and free Now nothing can take you away from me we've been down that road before but that’s over now you keep me coming back for more Baby you're all that I want When you're lying here in my arms I’m finding it hard to believe we're in heaven And love is all that I need And I found it there in your heart It isn’t too hard to see We're In Heaven We're in heaven Now nothing can change what you mean to me there's a lot that i can say but just hold me now cuz our love will light the way Baby you're all that i want When you're lying here in my arms I’m finding it hard to believe we're in heaven And love is all that I need And I found it there in your heart It isn’t too hard to see We're In Heaven Now our dreams are coming true through the good times and the bad I'll be standing there by you we're in heaven love is all that i need And I find it there in your heart it isn’t to hard to see we're I heaven We're in heaven -DJ SAMMY Efrain sent me this cd, he wants it to be our song. Judging by the lyrics, It always has been. =)! ::The Crown:: posted by Steven @ 11/05/2002 07:14:00 PM	Tuesday
::Short Version:: I so need to learn to chill. Today I have a pretty big self imposed reality check. I totally over reacted to umm “miscommunication.” I tend to get pissy when E doesn’t email me. Well today we had a discussion about it, we totally came to an understanding that pretty much established that I failed to understand what he was feeling, mostly because he was keeping what he thought was “negativity” to himself. This “negativity” refers to his feelings of loneliness and sadness about me being gone, in short the same feelings I have about me being away from him. Well after things were sorted I realized I was running late to meet a friend and he said he would email me. I met my friend and then checked my email an hour later to find nothing in my inbox. Realizing it was about 10pm US time I figured my darling had gone to bed and had forgotten to email me. I was a bit tiffed and sent him an email of concern. Of course once I realized I was overreacting and went back on-line to unsend it he had already received it. He signed on to send the promised email and instead received my bull shit. Of course he was a darling about it and said we’d talk about it later. I sat shocked at my own false assumption. It was a good slap in the face that I needed. I have been feeling very lonely and have been touchy about being away from my boy; I’ve been on edge. Today I snapped but was put back into place. Thank God for a patient and understanding boyfriend. The Crown posted by Steven @ 11/05/2002 08:03:00 AM
::So Happy:: Happy happy happy! On the 3rd November I solidified my future with my love. He and I talked about our future and decided that we will have one, no matter what. If it means therapy, self-help books, or wild/passionate sex; we'll make it work. Without sounding overly cocky about the whole thing, I'd like to say that I wasn't really that surprised by our conversation. Meaning, I felt like I already knew that we would spend the rest of our lives together. I've never been as happy as I am now. No one has ever treated me as well as has. Sure he has his boo boos, he's not the best at emailing and isn't always available for a chat; but he's my lil busy boy and besides those are my own petty issue. I mean if those are our biggest issues, then we're doing something very right. I admit, I'm a pissy bitch and get a bit anxious when I don't hear from the lad; but it's only because I love him so much. A day of distance feels like an ion of isolation. Back to my story...so in short we've been promised. What does that mean? I think it's the kind of thing you get a ring for, hence the term "promise ring." We've discussed kids for heaven's sake. Though I'm in no way ready for a family, the idea of having one with him totally excites me and the fact that we've thought that far ahead into our future excites me even more. I'm the bossy, paranoid, and strict mother who smoothers her kids and is critical of how daddy lets our son do what ever he wants. The mommy that gets irked because Billy sees daddy as the cool parent, grrr. LOL! At least daddy will dress the boy well, god knows daddy currently out dresses mommy. Yes, I admit it. Efrain dresses way better than me, though he says he likes the way I dress; I still think he dresses better than me. Yes, it has to be love if I of all people freely and openly expose this facet for the world to see. What can I say? Love makes people do crazy things and I'm absolutely crazy for Efrain. I land at LAX in less than 25 days! I can't wait to get off of that plane and powerwalk to the luggage area will he will be waiting. Thinking about it makes me gitty. Of course the month I'm with him will fly extremely fast, I'm sure I wont want to leave but I'll have to in order to finish grad school. There is the possibility that he'll come to Sydney for a week or so, I guess I'll use that prospect to keep me going. If not the idea of spending forever with him will work too. =) The Crown posted by Steven @ 11/04/2002 07:42:00 AM	Monday
::Shallow:: How shallow am I? Shallow enough to be pissed at my blog for not looking as I designed to. Shallow enough to be put off by its appearance enough, to not want to even update it. Shallow enough to be put off from expression at the thought of facing my flawed site. The page is fine and so am I. I was busy and didn're really want to contend to html drama. Oh well I'm over it. =) The Empress is back and the Internet domain will once again be slain! The Crown posted by Steven @ 11/04/2002 06:58:00 AM