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Decrees, anointments, and declarations from the Crown may be found here. I've been called a Queen, but I'm far from it. I've taken what I have darling. I am an Empress!
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some thoughts...
21 one years ago the world gave us ryan bradly dunn. 20 1/2 years ryan bradly dunn gave his hear to me. every singly day since that has been filled with constant love, joy and happiness.
my darkest days have since been filled with a previously absent light and my brightest ones have become ever so much more brilliant. ryan's shine fell directly upon me 8 months and several days before today, commemorated on every 12th day of every single month since.
our first meeting was brief and a bit lack luster; he was dancing with another and i was standing a bit disappointed, wishing more attention had been paid to my direction. days past when i was given the chance to peak at a view i secretly wanted to see; a possibility for more. i stepped into his vehicle and spoke to mind, "he really looks amazing." a night of debauchery would ensure, followed by a cityrail kiss that ultimately led my eyes to focus on the possible future i had before me. it became a future of growth, love, happiness, and laughter.
two months ago i hurdled an obstacle onto the path of that great future and i've thought about my misfortune every single day since. i constantly, whether overtly, covertly, consciously and/or subconsciously, remember what it was like to have pressed my lips against his, to feel the touch of his fingertips entangled with mine, and hear the beat of his heart loving me unconditionally.
today is a wonderful day because it celebrates the great and incredible fortune that was given the the many of us who have been lucky enough to be included in ryan's world. i am extremely happy that he has allowed me to continue being a part of that wondrous place, a local where ryan glows and makes those around him feel like gods though his association.
though i, a mere half god, am content with my place in his life; i am not for a minute satisfied with it. i miss him dearly and love him very much. as tears blur my vision one thing always remains clear, my lasting love and devotion.
i thank goddess for him and i thank you ryan for being exactly who and what you are. a fantastically wonderful man who has truly and forever impacted my life.
thank you for the gifts you have given me on this day of your birth. i literally wish i was there standing beside as you blow breath from your mouth and past a cake; lips poised for a birthday kiss.
i guess i shant have mine and eat it too. id like that though.
i love you ryan; more than tears, letters, or words on any screen, piece of paper or through telephone can explain.
happy birthday my true love.
always,
steven
posted by Steven @
10/14/2003 05:43:00 PM
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Tuesday  |
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